Review: AEW Rampage (12-6-2024)
Rampage was TAPED two days ago in Fishers. Ind.!
Rampage? On this newsletter1? It’s more likely than you think when the show has three matchups in the Continental Classic!
Dave Meltzer said he heard this was the best episode of Rampage all year, but I’ll see for myself if this manages to outshine that one where Roderick Strong beat Matt Menard.
Right to action! This is Rampage, it doesn’t have time for bullshit!2
Mark Briscoe vs Kazuchika Okada
Continental Classic
Years ago, these two were in a ROH tag match, it was the Briscoes against Okada and Shinsuke Nakamura, and it resulted in one of my favorite moments of the 2010s, when they did the pre-match ROH handshakes, which just deeply confused Nakamura. He shook the Briscoes’ hands, then shook Okada’s hand, then referee Todd Sinclair’s hand, then was looking for other hands to shake. Funnier to see than read, but Nakamura’s Nakamura so it had a particular weird flavor to it.
Fight goes to the floor pretty quickly, Briscoe hammering with right hands. Good scrap from the jump, Okada absorbing Briscoe offense and keeps his composure, nailing Briscoe and taking over heading into the first break.
Briscoe with some nice offense on the return, a big clothesline and a great looking fisherman buster. Excalibur theorizes that Okada loves going long so much that the CC’s 20-minute time limit can easily get away from him, as it arguably did with the draw against Daniel Garcia in his first match of the tournament.
Okada lands his elbow drop. He’s doing his shtick, flippin’ the bird. Briscoe sees the Rainmaker coming, hits a DVD and a clothesline, and goes up for the Froggybow. It hits! Two count only. All 17 commentators Gorilla Monsoon poor Mark for counting along with the count and not keeping all his weight on the pin. Okada almost catches a sneaky pin, but doesn’t get it, same the other way. Tombstone from Okada! Both down.
Back to the knees, both guys landing elbows. Up to the feet. Elbows. Countering about, trying to find the big move from both guys, and BAM! Rainmaker! That’s that. Just a good ass wrestling match. ***¾
Yeah, there’s bullshit: Chris Jericho has left commentary to step into the ring and discuss what happened on Ring of Honor with Matt Cardona answering his ROH title challenge. Jericho is going on about his funny hat. It’s so funny. But wait, Matt Cardona is here. He acknowledges the six people who chant “Alwayz Ready.” It has a Z, see. For Zack. Remember? He’s not the same kid Jericho met 15 years ago. “I’ve been bustin’ my ass for the past five years to reinvent myself!” Yeah! He fuckin’ loves action figures and that’s a SHOOT, jack! You gotta know that about him! Jericho speaks with Honest Voice and says he respects what Cardona has done to reinvent himself, saying he’s a way bigger star now than he ever was before. But he says Cardona is “still just Zack,” then spits in his face. Cardona takes him down and here comes Bryan Keith to help. He does, at least in the sense of turning Cardona’s attention. Numbers Game! Numbers Game!!!! Keith hits Cardona with Jericho’s Martha Hart-gifted belt buckle. “That was a special gift from Martha Hart!” Tony says, indignantly.
Daniel Garcia vs The Beast Mortos
Continental Classic
Hell yeah it’s Beast Mortos time. The incompetent Aubrey Edwards gets overly involved in the corner, then makes herself a distraction trying to get out of the way, allowing Mortos to blast Garcia with an open right hand. But Garcia gets rolling, that P’d him O a little, maybe. Bit of a cheap shot from Mortos, or maybe he’s reasonably mad at Aubrey.
Oh, this is good stuff. Mortos is just absolutely cooking lately and Garcia has been hot, too, plus both are out there really trying to establish themselves as serious top guys in the company. This is the recipe.
Back after a break and Garcia is throwing a series of elbows on Mortos, who is, like, “ARGH!” and shit. Aubrey once again overly involved. This is the worst referee in the business. She truly is “Gearl Hebner,” a constant spectacle of being in the way.3
Garcia going for a superplex. It hits. For some reason we do a camera zoom on front row fans going “twooooo” because it’s 2017, I guess. Finish sees Garcia eat a headbutt, but duck a discus lariat and push Mortos over for a jackknife pin and the three count. Not the greatest finish, not one with great “oomph,” but it works and it was a hell of a match. ***¾
Deonna Purrazzo & Taya Valkyrie vs people
Real clean edit to take us into this match, lads. Anyways, squash — oh, Lord, Deonna just kilt this lady with a power bomb! Deonna taps the deceased lady with the armbar. Entirely worth the TV time just for the power bomb.
Komander vs Ricochet
Continental Classic
Komander, of course, is replacing the injured Juice Robinson. I mentioned in the Road Report for that Dynamite/Collision taping that Ospreay vs Juice felt off in a couple spots, but in the crowd wasn’t obvious that he was hurt. Obviously, he had been.
Seems a real good chance that Komander is gonna go winless in this tournament but I’m looking forward to watching him in these matches all the same, though I do feel bad for Juice, obviously. That or Komander will win this match and lose the rest of his matches.
Ricochet in AEW just hasn’t really felt like he’s actually here. Or maybe more accurately he’s felt immediately like just another dude on the roster. I think his work has been fine, but he just doesn’t stand out in AEW. But he seems to be trying to find something personality-wise, too. I am generally pretty neutral, leaning toward low-end positive on Ricochet; I mean, I think he’s a good wrestler, and at his very best was crazy exciting, but he’s one of those guys I’ve never truly cared about either way. I’ve never, ever felt “invested in” Ricochet or had a strong feeling about him, other than how sick I got of the Ospreay-Ricochet GIFs and Discourse, but that wasn’t even actually anything to do with either of them. It was everyone else overreacting in super dramatic fashion.
Ricochet trying to keep this pace a little slower than the old Ricochet might, but when Komander is able to press the pace, Ricochet has to meet it a little more. Hits a running shooting star for two. Tony points out that Komander doesn’t have Alex Abrahantes out here to “motivate” him like normal. Personally, I hadn’t noticed.
Komander eventually gets the space to do his rope walk, which he turns into a backflip kick deal and then a springboard rana for two, and the rana looked fantastic. “I’ve never seen anything like it!” Menard screams about something Komander eventually does in every match he has.
Komander with some nice momentum. Komander with a big 450 for two! Ricochet with a running DVD, now he’s got the advantage and looks close to a finish because it’s 10 CT and the show is about over. Yeah, he wins it. Like all of Ricochet’s AEW stuff so far, I thought this was Pretty Good. I’m fine having watched it. It passed the time nicely. It didn’t leave a huge impression. ***¼
GRADE: B+?
I mean for 2024 Rampage this has gotta be an A, right? Watching this was very much a, “We’re looking down on Wayne’s basement, only that’s not Wayne’s basement” sort of deal.
This was not Rampage. Rampage has The Butcher and Robyn Renegade in seven to 11 minute matches. Rampage has Harley Cameron doing something weird and awesome. Rampage does not have Okada vs Briscoe and two more truly significant matches.
So I’m grading it like it’s a one-hour Dynamite, basically, and on that level it had really strong wrestling and nothing else — well, Jericho and Cardona, I guess, I don’t care — and I tend to like my wrestling shows to have some zest otherwise these days.
But yes, it was a great hour. If you didn’t tune in, you should watch it. Meaningful! Good!
Three Stars of the Show
The Beast Mortos: This is a Beast Mortos fan
blnewsletter.Mark Briscoe: You know, Mark Briscoe has a lot of funky offense and a funky personality and all that, but you know what else he has? One of the best-looking punches in the entire SPORT!!! of professional wrestling today. He threw a couple in that match that were just great.
Deonna Purrazzo: Garcia and Okada and Ricochet and Komander were all good, too, but Deonna had the moment of the night on that power bomb.
I’m legally forced to call this a newsletter. I would not call it that but the Substack goon squad came over and knocked over all my Funko Pops last time I called it a blog.
I’m sure it does.
In case it doesn’t come across, which things sometimes don’t, I don’t actually dislike her or whatever, and apart from that time she didn’t know how Texas Death Matches work I don’t think she’s a bad referee at all. She does have Hebner tendencies for real, though.
Extra heart for the Wayne's basement line
(which is to say a inside nerd reference but also a clever observation)
My wife barely tolerates me watching wrestling and does her best to not pay attention when it’s on, but she once commented about how “that lady ref with the dramatic makeup really tries to make herself part of the show.”