Review: AEW Dynamite (12-4-2024)
Dynamite is live from Fishers in the great1 state of Indiana!
Excalibur calls it “the shadows of Indianapolis.” Sure!
Continental Classic first matches recap! The Gold League! The Blue League! The CC continues this week, and folks, we gotta watch Rampage this week! You and me! I’m fired up! This Friday we’re gonna Rampage, boys!2
Kyle Fletcher vs Shelton Benjamin
Continental Classic
Hell yeah, this is the one I’m most psyched for tonight! Two of the very hottest wrestlers out there right now in-ring. Shelton gets physical on Kyle immediately, but Fletcher comes back with some forearms to show he’s no pushover, and then Shelton pushes him right over with a clothesline and Kyle goes to the floor to touch his face and head and look at his hand after he does. Both wind up down on the floor going into the first break.
Excalibur said he can’t have Don Callis disparaging the people of Indiana. I think it’s OK if he does, though. I’ve seen us. I’ve experienced us. We’ve got a good disparaging owed, frankly.
Back from break and they’re trading hard shots in the center of the ring. Fletcher really is growing into being a pretty big lad, it’s easy to realize when you see him next to Shelton, who has pretty heavily dwarfed a fair amount of people he’s stood near in AEW. It doesn’t actually matter, really, because it’s not 1985, but it never hurts to be a big fella.
Shelton rattled and nearly gets counted out, walks back in staggering to a big lariat from Fletcher for two. More forearm trades. Fletcher gets locked into an STF-y camel clutch-y deal but manages the bottom rope with his long arm. Fletcher lands a couple of nice, hard superkicks on the guy who throws the industry’s best superkick. Flying elbow from Fletcher gets two. And there’s the superkick receipt, Fletcher runs into a beauty from Shelton.
This rules. And NOW Kyle goes for a ride on back-to-back German suplays, both released. And then a third because Kyle isn’t turning around when Shelton wants him to, so fuck it, he gets chucked again. High knee in the corner, but Fletcher steals a win with his hand on the ropes as he stacks Shelton up for the pin. Loved this. ***¾
It’s Hook: Ah, good, I was almost too excited to be watching. Thankfully here’s this bore making zero progress after all these years. Nick Wayne recently challenged Hook for Hammerstein, but instead Hook wants Christian Cage there, and Wayne right now. Now we’re joined by Christian Cage and the alleged “Mother” Wayne, but they’re a decoy for Nick Wayne and Kip Sabian to blindside Hook. Of course their attack fails because Hook isn’t good at taking bumps so the #teen bad boy of Brooklyn overpowers them with ease before Christian can hit Hook with his … metal contract. Then they hold him down and bust his hand with a chair so that nobody has to see him wrestle at Hammerstein at all, possibly.
Backstage: Mercedes Mone is here and meets up with Renee Paquette, who is clearly getting sick of trying to speak to her in the way Jimmy Fallon got frustrated trying to have a conversation with the bot-like “Costco Guys.” Mercedes does not want to hear of “Kamille.” Kamille is her “Butch” but for a totally different person.
Backstage: MVP is yelling at Shelton Benjamin for not “hurting that man” Kyle Fletcher. He’s disappointed with his performance. Lashley walks by him all disgusted, too, then some random staffer comes by so Shelton beats him up, and then Lashley and MVP come back to help him “hurt” some security guys. “That’s what we do!” This is work to make clearer to people that they’re supposed to not like these guys, I think.
Right to Face MJF Battle Royal
Also known as the “Dynamite Dozen,” a yearly tradition I do not care about. We see Adam Cole’s entrance, and the other also-rans are already in the ring. We’ve got Kyle O’Reilly, Mark Davis, Rocky Romero, Brian Cage, Lance Archer, The Butcher, Evil Uno, Lio Rush, Dante Martin, Darius Martin, and Action Andretti. What a crew.
Uno out first so he’s the big loser of the night. I’m gonna go with The Butcher because he’s big and good at the parts of battle royals before you win, so I think he’s due. Andretti and Lio eliminate Top Flight, so we might finally be getting rid of that bad, loosely affiliated group. The tag matches that’s gonna lead to on Rampage, oh brother.
Cage and Archer eliminate Mark Davis. To commercial! By the way, I really like Brian Cage with the full beard. Looks a bit more like a real man, a bit less like a Remco action figure. Having an action figure build is impressive in its way, don’t get me wrong, but it’s better if people remember you are flesh and blood, and what’s he gonna do about that other than grow a beard? I’ve heard his promos. That won’t do it.
Anyway, maybe someone was eliminated during picture-in-picture, but I’m not programmed to pay attention to that little window while I see commercials. Action Andretti eliminated by O’Reilly. Lio out via O’Reilly. The Butcher is still alive. S-M-R-T!
Romero gone. Oh no the Butcher is in peril! The Butcher has been eliminated by a gamer. Fuck this. Final four is O’Reilly, Archer, Cage, and Cole. Archer and Cage get simultaneously eliminated, so Cole and O’Reilly are your survivors and will meet next week for the right to face MJF. If only I cared about that I would have liked this unusually well-done battle royal even more.
Video: Another really good Julia Hart deal, this one more of a teaser in style, focused on Jamie Hayter.
Backstage: Billy Gunn and Anthony Bowens are getting sick of Max Caster’s horseshit, so they’re just like me a year ago. “Yes, you’re the best wrestler alive,” Billy Gunn says to Caster, lying. They’re trying to tell Caster he’s getting played badly by MVP. I actually like that Caster’s ridiculous claim is mostly being treated as him being deeply delusional.
Max Caster vs Swerve Strickland
Swerve kicks his ass immediately. Caster gets one minor moment of hope. Swerve kicks his ass some more. Swerve squashes him. Great showing, Best Wrestler Alive! You did terrific out here. Four and three-quarters stars.
Post-match: Swerve has decided he’s not done with this idiot. Swerve Stomp! Caster, to give him the credit due, went out here and got absolutely thrashed and made it look good. Swerve speaks to the camera, telling Lashley it’s not over yet.
Hey good news, it’s MJF at his house: He points out that not only has Adam Cole gotten Roddy’s arm broken, now he has to “beat the shit out of” Kyle O’Reilly just to get to MJF at all, if he can. And he blames Cole for Jon Moxley and the Death Riders, too, based on his decision to turn on MJF. Frankly, if we’re being honest, he has a point. I mean he’s stretching it pretty heavily but the root is there.
PAC vs Jay White
This nothing to do with the continent, it’s just happening because White has some beef with PAC and the rest of the Death Riders. White by himself as the Gunns are out and Juice Robinson is also now hurt after busting his leg in the CC match with Will Ospreay.
White with early good work. Wheeler Yuta is with PAC and tries to give him a talking-to, which PAC does not seem to love. After commercial PAC, member of Jon Moxley’s Death Riders, is in control.
Hm. I’m going to say this fairly tepid match is due to these lads not wanting to upstage the Continental Classic. And now they’re ramping it up a bit, White hits a half-and-half suplay. “What a freakin’ match!” Schiavone shouts. He’s trying to trick me. Standing Brutalizer locked on by PAC, White bleeding from the mouth. “Daddy Magic” shouting advice from commentary, out here like Earl Weaver, can’t play for shit but knows what he’s talking about.
White does manage to get out, and then White hits a very sudden Blade Runner moments later for the win. This was fine, you’d just usually expect more. Or I would. Or maybe I wouldn’t, I’m often low man on Jay. Maybe it’s just me. ***¼
Post-match: Wheeler eats a Blade Runner, too. Marina Shafir enters the ring now, coming from nowhere. She and I dress very similarly. She distracts Jay long enough for Moxley and his $600 “torn” jeggings to get the jump. Well, Moxley vs Jay is next.
But wait: It’s Hangman Adam Page. Moxley, who was leaving, stops at ringside to see what Hangman wants. Marina fearlessly approaches Hangman because so far nobody has dared touch her other than Willow Nightingale and Willow isn’t here. And then there’s someone in cameraman cosplay attacking Moxley — it’s Orange Cassidy! He’s choking Mox. Hangman attacks Moxley. Marina and Cassidy are awkwardly struggling to not do anything too physical before Orange backdrops her, which you can blame on Marina’s own momentum, a full defensive side-step for Orange. Orange in with Orange punches on PAC and Wheeler, he and Moxley staring down. Moxley cannot kill THIS guy. Orange Punch on Mox! Blade Runner on Mox! These guys aren’t doing worth a shit tonight, really. Orange and Jay side-by-side, and Hangman’s on the apron. His rival Jay White steps aside — Buckshot connects! Three AEW guys standing tall in the ring, an uneasy alliance, but the Death Riders gotta just bail on this one. They got their ass beat.
And also: Christian Cage and his tin contract are up by the entrance, looking on.
Video: Teaser for Worlds End with Moxley in the desert despite the fact the show is in Orlando.
Backstage: Jamie Hayter talking about Julia Hart, and also the “International Women’s Cup.” She’s ready to fight Julia any time, any place, but Julia hasn’t been around. Jamie says she’ll go find Julia.
A Funny Bit: Chris Jericho is doing a new Funny Bit. He has a Funny Hat now consistently. He can’t pronounce “Hammerstein” correctly. He is doing plugs for future shows. Guys: This is Funny.
Another Funny Bit: Here’s some sort of “Western” skit about — oh, fuck, it’s Bandido! BANDIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not sure I’ve had framed this like a WCW Desperados skit and placed it right after another Funny Skit, but if it means Bandido then we’ve got action.
Penelope Ford vs Anna Jay
Anyways never mind all that shit, here’s Penelope vs Anna. Have really enjoyed both of these two in their returns to action recently, in both cases because they’ve both been working pretty physically, and I like good, physical wrestling. Physicality makes up for a lot, covers a lot, is better than most things in the first place.
They’re a smidge slow in the very early going, but they catch the pace and timing eventually and both look good in spots, never awful or anything. Penelope’s facial expressions are really strong. Her cutter is nice, kind of a half-cutter, half-stunner that makes it different from the other 100 cutters out there. Ford misses a moonsault, Anna hits a shotgun dropkick. Penelope still fighting, though, and hits her own shotgun dropkick to Anna’s spine after tripping her into the ropes. More struggle, Anna hits her finish for the win.
Decent match, but in key ways I think they’re better off than they came in, both of them. So, like, the anti-Thunder Rosa vs Deonna Purrazzo match, for a recent reference. **¾
Post-match: Anna Jay is now targeting Mercedes Mone and calls her out. Mercedes’ music is ready to go and so is she! I don’t know why she was standing right by the entrance when she could have been off enjoying a Fanta like a normal person. Mercedes says Anna should come back in 10 years when she’s actually done something. So Anna slaps her. Mercedes pretends she’ll fight and leaves instead. Anyway, they’ll wrestle in two weeks at Dynamite: Holiday Bash in Warshington, DC.
Interview: Renee is sitting down with my favorite completely horrible human being, Mariah May. Mariah is insulting immediately and Renee, who is a real person, looks to walk out because fuck this. But Mariah stops her and will speak on Mina Shirakawa. “Shaking your tits only gets you so far.” Says she’ll make Mina work for it. That’s true! I speak from experience. Mina is here and hands Mariah a bottle as Renee scurries. She tells Mariah to bust that bottle on her head to her face. “Winter is coming. Make me work.” This was good.
Claudio Castagnoli vs Brody King
Continental Classic
Hell yeah. I was absolutely fired up by Brody standing over a downed Darby Allin like a guard dog last week, daring Claudio to come attack as Claudio had come down there to do. Brody and Darby aren’t friends, maybe, but there’s a deep respect there, and Claudio wasn’t getting a free shot. And now here they are.
These big boys love to roughhouse and they’re gettin’ at it. Looking to establish that raw superiority. Brody drops Claudio with a single chop. Tony points out how rare that is. Brody just laying it the hell in on ol’ Claude out here, and Castagnoli has to go to the knees to take King off his feet and get a little breathing room, but also has to follow up quickly and try to take command.
We’re gonna go to overrun here. Pure slugfest match. I’m loving it. Brody gets a little hardway color, eats a pop-up European uppercut, only gets two. Big ol’ lariat from King gets two. Both guys down. Schiavone thinks Brody’s blood is from the ear as well as the nose. Brody’s gotta go left-handed because his right arm has been beaten up. But he’s still heavy handed as they trade shots.
Big cannonball in the corner from Brody gets another two. Claudio CRACKED with an elbow strike as he springboards for an uppercut. Big ol’ superplex from Brody! Hell yeah! Piledriver from Brody! Two count again. This is a war. They go out to the floor, Brody in control, Claudio sat in a chair, Brody misses his crossbody but just gets back up on instinct, only to be sent over the rail.
Back in, Claudio runs into a lariat! LONG two count! Ganso Bomb is a no-go, Claudio goes to the eyes and then mule kicks the nuts. Neutralizer hits! Claudio wins it in cheap fashion. Hell of a battle, though, and Claudio keeps pace with Fletcher at six points in the Gold League. ****
Next week: Claudio vs Ospreay! Moxley and PAC vs White and Orange!
GRADE: B+
Real good ‘sode, great opener and great closer, lots of solid stuff in the middle. A battle royal I found unusually entertaining considering I do not like battle royals.3 Mariah with another excellent pre-tape and Mina got to show an actual part of a real personality, the Hayter vs Hart thing continues to intrigue me, and we haven’t even talked about the best thing on the show, Swerve Strickland big dogging Max Caster in riotously hilarious fashion.
Good Dynamite!
Three Stars of the Show
Brody King: He took the L and he’s, like, not going to win the Continental Classic or anything, but this big fella is making the case for himself weekly lately to be considered for a serious push. Was talking with an Internet Friend on the Internet about this and we both have had the idea that House of Black are actually a potential great side-track, at least, for the Death Riders at some point. HoB are not easily rattled; frankly, they don’t really rattle at all. They’re midcard guys, yes, but they’re fighters, they’re dangerous, and they are not going to be manipulated into a situation. And we saw a lot of that sort of energy from Brody against Claudio, who ultimately had to resort to pure heel coward tactics to win. But they did win, so there’s that.
Kyle Fletcher: Another style of opponent, another style of match, another Fletcher killer. He’s crazy hot right now, and Shelton is still delivering every single time out, also against varied opponents.
Renee Paquette: Renee was so close to saying “fuck this shit” two times dealing with both Mercedes and Mariah. I still question her husband running around with a bunch of angry freaks trying to kill the company she works for while she allegedly has no connection to any of it, but she remains excellent at her job. The honest reporter with the wonderful upper-mid fashion sense.4
No.
“Boys” is gender neutral here, I don’t want anyone to feel left out.
I like the Royal Rumble. That’s not the same. Well, I often like the Royal Rumble. This many years into it and a lot of them get over-thought by nervous and not very creative WWE creative people. Plus there was that one that Shane McMahon booked that was the last straw in Vince removing the adult boy from his will.
Her looks say, “This is very nice and well put together, while attainable on any budget!”