Review: AEW Collision (9-14-2024)
Collision is NOT LIVE from Dayton! It was taped two days prior! In Dayton! The “Nutter Center!” And folks, this is one roster fulla “nutters,” so that’s fitting!!!!11
Outside: Jack Perry drives his dumb paddywagon all recklessly.and then he just leaves it running, hops out, and I think he’s trying to be tough now? He sure has a lot of ideas for this character. Not sure they all mesh into something with clearly drawn lines or if he’s AEW Karrion Kross, but either way! Let’s go to the ring!
Christopher Daniels vs Jack Perry (c)
TNT Championship
I’m gonna lay this out up front: Christopher Daniels is on the list of wrestlers I just have never gotten into or cared about. I’m not saying I think he’s bad. In fact, he is an excellent technician and craftsman and all that, but that’s also part of it. Daniels in his prime was so smooth that there was nothing in his work for me to grab onto. Good matches, yes, in that I recognized they were good, but I never felt any investment in anything he ever did, and his whole speakeasy orgy club sex pervert act never did much for me, either. I never BELIEEEEEEEEVED in Christopher Daniels.
Actually, the most I’ve ever believed in Chris Daniels on the TV has been this “interim EVP” deal — fully buy him as a smart corpo guy with the respect of his peers and the credibility and cachet to pull it off, sort of an anti-Ava for current TV authority figures. Makes his little goggles get-up entrance a little weird here, but still.
He also hasn’t wrestled in AEW since May (he had an indie match in July) and is basically in a state of semi-retirement. Nigel says Daniels is “certainly on the Mount Rushmore of Ring of Honor” with Samoa Joe, Low Ki, and “Brittle” Bryan Danielson. I don’t think I agree with this list, personally, but it’s one you can easily defend.1
Think it’s a little power trip-y for Daniels to give himself this title shot he has not earned. Nigel assumes Bryan Danielson is “strapped up to an iron lung right now.” Perry in control against this horny grandpa before Daniels gets a run of offense, and man, still just a terrific technician. Obviously not in the sort of physical shape at 54 that he was in his prime years, but he’s so good that this is all sort of second nature to him, or comes off that way. He almost gets Angel’s Wings, but doesn’t. They do a sunset flip trade where Daniels does that thing where the pinning person just sorta stands up and goes to the next thing and Perry doesn’t even give the illusion he’s actually trying to get free.
That gets us to the finish, where Daniels takes a hard bump and rocks his head a little, then falls victim to Perry’s running knee, which looks good and Daniels sells like a MFer. Lasts about five minutes, solid opener with an Important Guy. **½
Backstage: Perry is leaving and gets to tell the camera, “The people who don’t like me are the people who can’t handle the truth.” Then he gets in his stupid van and leaves. Have no idea if he thinks this character is rock n’ roll radical or if the whole thing is meant to make him seem like a dork tryhard. Really could go either way, legitimately not sure.
Backstage: Wheeler Yuta arrives. He is disillusioned. He looks very tired and haggard and sad. Lexy Nair asks him how Bryan is and Wheeler says he’s “doing the best that he can,” then mentions that he forgot his boots. He’s very distracted. He can’t focus. Says he hasn’t really talked to the other guys. He has a match tonight. Tries to talk about that, but still isn’t focused. Think he did a good job here. It’s a little over the top, but it’s at least clear.
Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari & The Beast Mortos vs Hologram, Kyle O’Reilly & Mark Briscoe
I really like that the Conglomeration are so chill that they're totally open to teaming with some other chill people without requiring them to join their group. I wish I could be a Conglomeration associate.
I remember over a decade ago, probably 2010 or 2011, I saw Ariya Daivari first with a Minnesota promotion that had a YouTube show during a period where I was watching a lot of wrestling that wasn’t WWE. My favorite of the shows was NWA Mountain State which featured the likes of Ricky Shane, the Bunkhouse Boys, The Maestro, Jason Kincaid, The Bulldozer, and a fellow name of Psycho Karl.2
I really dig Beast Mortos because he rules, obviously, but also everyone kind of gives him the ground to be as awesome as he can be, just bouncing off of him and getting tossed around, while he also eats offense from everyone like crazy. Nese having a particularly nice showing in this one, both in getting to do some cool stuff and just looking kickass in there, especially working with Hologram. Those two are the real show-stealers; everyone else gets some good stuff in (well, honestly, I immediately don’t remember anything Daivari did), but the best stuff here was them. ***¼
Post-Match: After Hologram pins Nese, Mortos attacks Hologram, and Briscoe hits Mortos with the ROH belt to chase him off. O’Reilly has kinda become an Irony Wrestler but he’s having such a good time that I can’t mind. He wants a Mortos match. I say, that is a good idea!
Last Night: Orange Cassidy was in CMLL and won a match. Chris Jericho was in CMLL and took an absolute shit and dump in his pants but beat Mistico. Cassidy and Jericho crossed paths again.
Backstage: Renee Paquette is with Orange. But Orange gets attacked by Big Bill before he can speak. And now here’s Bryan Keith. He and Bill hold Cassidy so that Jericho can crack him over the head with that framed picture of Best Friends. Renee is the one to break it up and seems exasperated that nobody else is coming over to help.
Video: Stokely Hathaway is in his luxury home, about to watch Young Bucks vs Sting & Darby Allin. He also has DVDs of other good tag team matches. Is this AI generated? Is Stokely AI generated??? Anyway, the hint seems to be that Big Stoke may be set to guide a tag team. Or he and Stat are going after the belts.
Backstage: Lexy is now with Mariah May. She will not do her celebration in Daytona, which is “like a Wish version of Cincinnati.” That’s about right. Mariah still misses Mina Shirakawa. This seems destined to lead to Mariah attacking Mina if/when Mina does return. Here’s Yuka Sakazaki! She wants Mariah’s belt. Mariah does not care. She will rip Yuka’s head off. Yuka has no real reaction to this, just saying, “OK! Bye-bye!” and leaving. I love Mariah, but she’s been left spinning wheels to start this title reign. I don’t think this has to be a bad thing, especially if it leads to something of a mild reboot of the division in general, and Yuka is a massive add in ability and what she can bring to the table. And someone like Yuka being so generally indifferent to Mariah’s intimidation tactics can be REALLY fun.
Anthony Henry vs Wheeler Yuta
Henry is accompanied by his second cousin-via-marriage, Beef.
Did you ever watch “Deadwood”? There’s a scene where civilized roughneck Adams has been ordered by Al to sell his house to Sol Star so that Star has a proper home in Deadwood as he runs for Mayor of the camp, so to convince Star without letting him know that it’s Al’s order, Adams puts on this over-the-top distraught act, NEEDING to sell the home, and Sol would be a prime candidate to buy it as a success in the camp who isn’t leaving. After Adams is done, Trixie approaches him basically to tell him he might want to take it down a notch if he hopes to succeed. I feel like Trixie right now watching Wheeler. This isn’t loud like Adams’ show, but it’s just as lacking in subtlety. But, well, Adams wasn’t a trained actor and Wheeler is a pro wrestler.
Yuta takes a hard bump on a floor suplex, then Henry grounds the match inside the ring. Tony Hank is looking pretty shredded up these days. Look at those thighs, brother.
Anyway, the match basically accomplishes what it means to accomplish, which is about all I ask of anything. This isn’t one for the Star Ratings. Henry plays house show heel, but that accidentally riles Wheeler up when he mocks Yuta having feelings about the Danielson situation. Wheeler snaps and beats the shit out of him. Beef catches a stray, too. Yuta hammers the elbows down on Henry and locks on Cattle Mutilation for the win. Wheeler almost attacks the referee but is able to catch himself. ***
Backstage: Lexy is with Serena Deeb, who also wanted Queen Aminata here. Serena faces Yuka later, and Queen faces Robyn Renegade. I ACTUALLY QUITE LIKE DEEB IN THIS ROLE. THIS FITS HER. Queen does not care about Deeb’s bullshit. This is moving toward something I want to see! Neat!
Video: Anna Jay is back from the Stardom 5Star Grand Prix! She learned and got better and she’s reinvigorated. She’s got her eyes on both Mariah May and Mercedes Mone. Neat little video to reintroduce Anna.
Komander & Private Party vs Jon Cruz, Lord Crewe & Ren Jones
All respect to Komander but I am not watching a fuckin’ Private Party squash in 2024. Not today.
Commentary Desk: Tony asks Nigel about his call-out of Bryan Danielson. Nigel can’t be sure Bryan will actually be available for Grand Slam. But he had an opening thanks to Moxley and Darby, and called his shot. But he is sure that if Bryan doesn’t show up, it’s not his “condition,” it’s that he’s afraid of Nigel. And now Nigel narrates a highlight reel of classic Danielson vs McGuinness ROH matches. This is good. Gives younger fans or those who never saw this some context, which is necessary. Yes, it’s mainly for those of us who DID see those matches and DO hold them in high esteem, but it helps to include everyone else. It will not be a title match: “Win, lose, or draw, you’ll leave Arthur Ashe with the AEW world title, but let’s not make any bones about it. You show up, I am going to try to end your career.”
Yuka Sakazaki vs Serena Deeb
Mariah May joins commentary. Nigel is very excited, and everything she says is very funny to him. Mariah brings up that her kiss revived Nigel’s career, but he denies that it was her. Mariah calls Deeb twisting up Yuka “child abuse,” a creative way for Tony to bring up that Yuka is a 10-year veteran and not, despite the voice and all that, a child, for the folks who don’t know a GD thing about her.
May does not think Yuka can be a champion because she has a bowl cut. Nigel: “We are having fun here today!” Tony: “Two of you are.” This is also a great use of Deeb, who has a high floor in-ring and can really help establish a “new” face and what they do for The People.
During the PIP break, because I have the uh International Version here (I pay for YouTube TV, man, but I needed to clip something, let me be) Mariah gets horny at Nigel: “I hear you’re pretty good … in the ring. I hear you’re pretty stiff. In the ring.” Tony now breaking Nigel’s balls about him blushing. Mariah picks up on Nigel’s behalf. What booth chemistry between this team.
Anyway, the match more shows the potential for these two to have a really good one, which is understandable given Yuka’s just getting back and getting familiar in AEW. Once it gets purely physical I’m really into it. Deeb gets a nice run of offense, but Yuka gets the clean W. I’m really excited about Yuka being here once she gets fully comfortable and back up to speed. ***
Post-Match: A surly Mariah May drills Yuka in the back of the head with a forearm up on the entrance stage. Mariah tries for Storm Zero up there but Sakazaki blocks and lays May out with a kick to the kisser.
Video: Little Outrunners feature. It’s good! They’re good and I like them.
Backstage: Leila Grey is very full after dinner. But Action Andretti is sick of this crap, pointing out losses by all of them recently. Lio Rush doesn’t care because he’s happy to lose matches. Andretti is not happy to lose matches together. “We have something not everybody has, we have athleticism!” Actually, brother, that’s kind of your problem, there are 50 of you guys on the roster and nothing you do truly stands out. Andretti wonders why “we do not have matches where we beat (House of Black).” Action. My guy. Because you are worse. Lio is so annoyed. Guys, you can let him leave. It’s not like he’s adding anything to your nothing act.
Cage of Agony vs Bang Bang Gang
One guy on Cagematch argued they could have scrapped this match because this show had so many matches and this could have been a “segment” instead. Pal this is Collision, it’s a Saturday night show during college football season, it’s a wrestling match show, take your ass back to Dynamite.
Now that said, yeah, this is fine but it’s not anything you’re gonna remember 10 minutes later. At one point they’re talking about the Agony lad who used to play rugby and International Feed Tony says, “Rugby’s a man’s sport!” and I know what he means but I’m on the internet a lot so I immediately wanted to point out that women also play rugby. Like Ilona Maher, whom someone should be begging to come be a wrestler, she’s a bad motherfucker.
Bang Bang Gang take this one. Not one of their better trios matches, a little flat. Just don’t think these sides have much chemistry in various ways, but enough to be competent. **½
Backstage: Serena Deeb is mad that yet again she’s a fucking loser despite all her great “Professor” knowledge of how to do moves or whatever, and then Queen Aminata takes a quick verbal shot at her. And that’s that!
Queen Aminata vs Robyn Renegade
Not totally sure what Aminata’s character is right now, think it needs clearer direction. Is she an arrogant dick? Is she a babyface standing up to the likes of Mariah May? Really can’t figure it. But the good news is she’s on TV more. Now time to just, like, figure out what you want her to be.
Predictable style match. Quick, to the point, Queen wins it clean, crowd gets to learn more about it.
Post-Match: Serena Deeb shows maybe her most fire ever by jumping Aminata and thrashing her knee but good. Folks, Deeb is being put in the right positions now. I also like her gear a lot as I am a big pastels fan.
In their little dark room: House of Black are here. They’re ready for any challenge, either from the Righteous or Top Flight & Friends or whomsteverst.
Grizzled Young Veterans vs FTR
This episode has a true mid-late period WCW Saturday Night feel, where it’s not the total waste that show became but it’s definitely not anywhere near being the A-show anymore, and GYV vs FTR is the perfect main event to reflect what I mean by that. It’s had just a bit of Story as a reason to be happening but it’s absolutely not something that could headline Dynamite.
GYV get the fast start, Dax drills a huge back superplex, which is really just a crazy move, I think the same thing every time. It doesn’t stand out as a crazy move in a world full of crazy moves, but there’s so much more complicated stuff that wows me so much less than a basic superplex, let alone a back superplex. Just a move that has stayed awe-inspiring to me my whole life, maybe the one move that has.
HEY! I like this one a lot. Good, tough pro wrestling between a couple of damn good tag teams who care about the craft of tag team wrestling. Wheeler gets a good hot tag. Cash is probably gonna always be underrated compared to Dax as the quieter guy who doesn’t do nearly as many singles matches. GYV haven’t been around enough to really keep the crowd up when they’re in control, which is not their fault, they’re doing good work, it’ll come if they keep getting the chances.
FTR want a spike piledriver on GYV Bald, but GYV Hair makes the save and then they double up on FTR Bald until FTR Hair saves his bacon a bit. Dax gets a sharpshooter on Drake and Drake taps. I kinda-sorta question the logic of having them beaten clean so immediately because the instinct is to go, “hey, they’re supposed to be a new big deal in the division,” but maybe the point is they’re NOT so great as they think yet? Good match, though. ***½
Post-Match: GYV are mad and attack FTR until the Outrunners make the save and run them off. OK, I’m into this, actually, because it gives GYV a rival more appropriate for a new team, and the Outrunners are getting REALLY over in a way that won’t require them to immediately start winning a ton of matches, so GYV can beat them in some matches and you build their reputation — even as assholes cheating — while Outrunners are gonna stay over because they’re over being themselves. Outrunners and FTR do some crowd-pleasing shtick to close the show.
GRADE: C+
Not gonna argue that this is some great ep of Collision, but a rock solid main event and never any low lows, it’s a week where it is, again, a ‘97 Saturday Night kinda thing. Which for me is fine, I get why it might be less than ideal for one of these youthful fans who has the expectation that every show will be front-to-back “bangers” with all the top stars of today.
Three Stars of the Show
Serena Deeb: As a top tier Deebtractor (ha!), I am really happy to see her in a spot that fits her actual level and upside and strengths. It’s great to not dread seeing someone I do like watching in the ring!
FTR: FTR was on this show and had an FTR match in the main event. I like FTR and like FTR matches. They were in a position where having an FTR match was a big part of the night. They succeeded in having an FTR match. Thank you, FTR!
Tony Nese: Let’s give the lad “his flowers” for really standing out in that trios match. Just a better than average night for ol’ Tonyoni.
I reckon I’d go Joe, Danielson, and Jay Briscoe for sure, and then the fourth spot you really get into some discussions. Personally I don’t think CM Punk actually qualifies, he didn’t have enough of a run there to be in this conversation, even as big of a star as he became after. I wouldn’t have Daniels or Ki in the discussion, I know they’re founding father types but I don’t know that they had that sort of real overall impact. Daniels did a lot there but was really never The Guy. Nigel himself would be in the conversation for me, along with Kevin Steen, Roderick Strong, Adam Cole, and then two guys who would not be popular picks, Jay Lethal and Austin Aries.
Again, I get very nostalgic with the chillier air of late summer/early fall nights. Once we hit the proper winter times it might get a little much, we’ll see.