Review: WWE Smackdown (6-27-2025)
Live from Riyadh!
Matches
Jimmy Uso vs JC Mateo: Apparently, Mateo has “conquered” the U.S. and Japan. This is news to me but I love to learn! Anyway, this is kinda ass. Jimmy is just not fit for solo work and Jeff Cobb Mateo historically struggles to be very compelling when the opponent isn’t giving him a significant helping hand, not because he stinks or anything but because he just lacks a little zip on the fastball, he’s a good hand but needs assistance to really be something. I like the Bloodline stuff where it is more than a lot of people do right now, but that’s mainly because of Jacob Fatu and Solo Sikoa. When I say mainly I mean entirely. Jimmy gets a rally, gets distracted, loses. **
Post-match, Solo Sikoa again tries to recruit Jimmy Uso, but again fails. Mateo jumps on Uso, and this time Solo’s ready to help him. Before they can achieve much, Jacob Fatu repays the favor from last week and rushes in to take out Mateo fast, then stare down with Solo, who bails and waits for Saturday. Jacob and Jimmy team up again when the baddies try to do the sneak-up.
Later in the show, Fatu and Uso meet outside. Uso says he didn’t Jacob’s help, and Jacob says he didn’t need Jimmy’s the week before. But they respect each other. They’re cool enough with each other. That’s nice. It’s nice to get along with your relatives. :)
Giulia vs Zelina Vega: For Vega’s terrible title. The little hype video rules, Giulia full-on admitting she doesn’t really see this belt as being worth much more than a stepping stone, Zelina saying that because she’s from NEW YAWK she’s a real tough gal. One of them sounds cool. Zelina out first because this company does not respect tradition. WELL! Good news! Basically a glorified squash and Giulia has hopefully, finally rescued this title from the clutches and attention of the likes of Zelina Vega and Michin. I mean, Zelina gets a bit in here, don’t get me wrong, it’s not a Rich Myers match or anything, but the superiority of Giulia is never in any real doubt, and she finishes emphatically. They did what should have been done here. I’m not saying all belts need to be booked the same all the time, but this one needs a smidge of credibility, badly. **½
Rey Fenix & Andrade vs DIY: Well, Andrade has a partner. Cole does make some quick mention of the Gargano/Andrade history which I accept was a big moment in time for a lot of people if not necessarily for me. It’s just this GD John Gargano — ooh, he makes my blood boil. Actually I like him now as a turd little rulebreaker more than I ever have before. This is the most I’ve ever liked DIY, too. Always enjoyed Ciampa. Fenix and Andrade make for a fine tag team of guys who ain’t really gonna do anything better and they both rule and I am happy to watch them, so hey, fine idea. And this is a good match! The kind of match that makes you think even more that forcing in those Wyatt Sicks dopes is a massive mistake for a division that could otherwise routinely keep filling the niche for having Just a Good Match, which is a big part of WWE TV no matter who says otherwise. Some nice false finishes, crowd into the action, and then a good finish with Fenix and Andrade both teaming up to put Ciampa away fully. ***¾
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Dexter Lumis & Joe Gacy vs Street Profits: For the Profits’ tag belts. The Wyatt tributers got here by virtue of barfing a turd on their own chests while wrestling one of the most reliable tag teams to ever exist. Amused by Montez Ford refusing to be “creeped out” by “Dexter Lumis” and his little “crawling on fists and knees” pose. Wade says the Wyatts have “finally” gotten their shot at the gold. Yes! After all that work. “Lumis, who has been described as a ‘tortured artist’ throughout much of his career…” Alright, that’s enough. I’m fully out on this shit. It sucks too much.
Before this really goes anywhere, Motor City Machine Guns are ringside, then Los Garza and DIY. Why? Because they all know Paul Creative must pay for putting Lumis and Joe Gacy, “who portrays Huskus the Pig-Boy,” in this position.
Lumis and Gacy shit themselves a lot less in this match than they did a couple weeks ago, but this still isn’t very good and they’re still obviously dragging their opponents down without, let me be real here, actually being over. This whole group is not over. They get a little pop and people like doing the phone flashlight shit for the entrance, but once the action starts they have to do plunder brawls or nothing.
Dawkins and Gacy do some good work together, being fair to everyone. Gacy’s really not a bad wrestler, honestly, this is mostly just how lousy Lumis is for this level. The man should be working MLW at best. Anyway, this goes to a no contest, which I do not care about. **
Oh, good, “Uncle Howdy” gets to do some wrestling moves at people. Dawkins wipes out a bunch of people, Ford does the same with everyone else. Good. The champs look cool at the end. “Uncle Howdy” didn’t have to be in the dive parties.
Tiffany Stratton vs Nia Jax: Nia’s Saudi gear is basically the same as her U.S. gear but lacks the mesh cleavage window. I’m not being a pervert here, it just occurred to me that while everyone else looks clearly different in their Saudi gear, something about hers was the same but … not. And that’s what it is.
You hope for the plunder to help this out, but it doesn’t do much. This is probably their worst match together, no sincere drama to any of it. This is Nia in the “Kane trying to win the world title again” role. We know she ain’t gonna right now, so she’s just going through the motions, and Stratton isn’t experienced enough to make more of it than that. It’s not that they don’t work hard in the sense of taking some bumps and doing the weapons and all that, but there’s just no sense of the stakes because they’ve run this into the ground already. Finish is OK, though you have to get through all that terrible counting ahead of time and then for the finish, obviously. Then Tiffany starts crying. I’m so sick of wrestlers crying. Find some other way to show emotion already. **½
Naomi does try a cash-in but it goes nowhere after she and TNA Senior Official Rudy Charles play tug-of-war with the case for no reason other than they have to wait for Tiffany to run over there.
Other Stuff
Big thing up top: the John Cena and CM Punk face to face.
Luckily, Michael Cole lets you know it’s funny or interesting that Punk is dressed and acting like “Dr. of Thuganomics” era Cena.
Now here’s the thing: the promo work is fine, because Punk is a very good promo. He’s never not going to be good at that. And taken out of context, yes, this is stupid. But it obviously makes sense in the narrative. HOWEVER,
This is all cleverly woven into the that ~Storytelling~, and I think there’s absolutely a bigger thing at play here over the last couple weeks where Cena puts into the heads of the wider audience — the ones who really don’t spend all day on X: The Everything App — that CM Punk is a big, fat phony. They do that, they have him very publicly apologize to a plant about his “blood money dick” Tweet from years ago — they’re pressing buttons on him because they can, at least a little bit. I have no doubt of this.
I’ve seen “The Sopranos” enough, this is the company it at its Tony Soprano-est, masking intentions with a smile but ultimately, they are genuinely humbling somebody they can push around, at least a little, and if he pushes back at some point, eh, fuck him, get rid of him. He’s got nowhere else to go. No bridge unburned. Even if he made amends with Tony Khan, would that roster in AEW ever want to deal with him again? Too many important guys who have written him off as not worth the effort. Anyway, disguising that is clever enough, but it’s not at all an unfamiliar tactic with people who have returned to WWE after having left acrimoniously some years prior. It is just part of the company’s fabric, it is not a Vince-specific idea, and anyway the guy in charge of all the “creative” is taking a lot from that playbook, never think otherwise.
I also can’t sit here and say I “feel bad for” Punk even if I’m 100% right. He’s a grown man with enough money to say no or just dip if he really objected. But I think he’s in a high profile image rehab, and then you can also reasonably suspect this is just a changed guy, if in no other way than he’s now willing to be clearly seen as a hypocrite.
It doesn’t really matter, anyway. It’s not my life. I’ll never understand his motivations because I ain’t got that kind of money and I don’t move in life the way he does. Never will. This is just some shit to say for the sake of talking.
Hey, if we’re all being real, this is just a “slightly different path” look at the same 46-year-old guy could be genuinely walking around in at a House of Blues show where The Tossers are locally opening for some ancient Epitaph band.
King of the Ring finalists Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton kick it off to gab. Man, the Saudis are excited to sing. Makes other ringed events in Riyadh even funnier by comparison. Orton puts over the Cody-Jey Uso match from Raw. I said I liked that match and got yelled at by a nerd, but such is Online. Anyway I have the version of this show where Netflix got gunked up and that’s about all I heard of what they had to say. I’m sure it was inspiring stuff.
The tag team division hang out backstage. Nobody else believes that DIY are “the leaders.” By nobody else I mean Fraxiom, Motor City Machine Guns, and Los Garza. This is all about DIY trying to fire up everyone to take out the Wyatt Sicks. Nick Aldis interrupts and it’s just a bunch of noise. Anyway, Aldis calls over Andrade, offering him a match with DIY if he has a partner. Not really sure this makes much sense, but, well, Storytelling.
The little hype video for Zelina vs Giulia rules. Giulia full-on admitting she doesn’t really see the Women’s U.S. Championship as being worth much more than a stepping stone, Zelina saying that because she’s from NEW YAWK she’s a real tough gal. One of them sounds cool.
Alexa Bliss and Charlotte Flair continue trying to figure out how to capably exist in 2025 WWE. Charlotte says she doesn’t need friends, Alexa tells her to think of the idea as “allies of convenience.”
Wade Barrett interviews Jade Cargill and Asuka. “At SummerSlam I don’t plan on just taking the title, I plan on taking the whole. damn. throne.” Jade in wrestling that is kind of the same thing. Asuka talks that shit but I mean, a lot of people have proven to be ready for Asuka over the years at this point. Anyway, this isn’t so great but it’s not terrible, then we get Naomi interrupting to show everyone her briefcase. Says she might cash in on the Tiffany-Nia last woman standing match, might wait until Night of Champions, might wait until SummerSlam. The Saudis have learned how to chant “shut the fuck up” with their own unique cadence. One thing I like about Naomi is that she seems to fully realize her catchphrase is a little dopey and forced, so she delivers it with that kind of energy. Jade pushes Asuka out of the way to go after Naomi, who ducks, and Asuka kicks Jade’s ass lmao
Backstage, the toothless GMs meet up about the women’s tag belts, but Aleister Black calmly interrupts to ask for a “re-do.” Ron Truth then barges in screaming, like kind of an asshole, to be honest. Black keeps his calm but he’s clearly had enough of all that. “Same Smackdown, different continent, huh?” Great line, Adam. Awesome stuff.
Later, Black kicks Ron in the skull when Ron is trying to shout and scream in the ring. Then Black completely ruins how cool that might be by saying some dopey shit while he sits cross-legged.
Later, Damian Priest is upset with Al Black’s tactics, saying he thinks it’ll be “a lot different” if he goes at Ron Truth face-to-face. Why the FUCK would Damian Priest think that? We all know what Ron Truth’s record looks like over the last decade? The real motivator here is putting Priest and Black together, of course, but Priest could have sounded less dumb. As Black leaves, Carmelo Hayes speaks with Priest and says if he was Priest, he’d mind his own business. Hayes actually making some sense here, but Priest is mad about it.
Michael Cole should really win a Primetime Emmy for how great he is forcing in a Jurassic World ad read.
Street Profits and B-Fab are still friends.
Three Stars of the Show
Andrade: This dude has been cooking with gas lately. If English were his first language, or if he was just a bit better at it for long promos, I honestly think he’d be a true top guy in this company. Which is my way of saying WWE still has a lot of internal problems on that front, yes.
Giulia: Thank God, someone might finally get something out of that belt. I like Chelsea, but she got a bum assignment with Michin in particular. I don’t dislike Zelina Vega, but she’s not over and couldn’t make a belt matter. This belt needs to matter at some point. Giulia could be the exact right pick.
Angelo Dawkins: We’re all aware of how I feel about Angelo Dawkins.
Punker in Saudi certainly has not disappointed, that’s for sure.
Andrade is truly the unsung hero of WWE and I too wish he could spin some better English for his sake. Honestly, find a way to get him in there with Gunther and just let ‘em cook, Jack.