It was Wednesday! Many of you knew what that meant! Dynamite was live from Reading, PA!
Why are so many GD shows in Pennsylvania? What purpose does this serve?
We start with a truncated version of the “November Rain” video package that premiered on Collision.
Kyle Fletcher, Lance Archer, Brian Cage & Konosuke Takeshita vs Will Ospreay, Mark Davis, Powerhouse Hobbs & Ricochet
Not saying Mark Davis has ever been a body guy, but he looks in better shape than I expected, frankly, based on how he’s dressed casually for TV. That much time off can be tough on anyone, but good to see him back anyway.
Don Callis is not with the Don Callis Family. The babyfaces rush out of the ring to attack the “Don Callis Monster Army” up by the entrance, and they’re getting at it with a brawl around the ringside area. Ricochet with an early dive onto Takeshita. Cage starts hurling people. Ospreay starts kicking people. Nobody’s gotten on the apron to start a traditional tag format yet, it’s still just fighting. Fletcher knocks Ospreay off the apron, then Hobbs approaches and Fletcher has to reckon with the fact that he’s stuck for Hobbs to toss him.
Not long after, Hobbs gets his crappy knee worked over in the steps and they do a trainer check. He leaves for a bit then comes back later, hobbling. After a break, we’re having an actual match now, and Hobbs is gone, having been taken to the back by medical. Fletcher and Ospreay turn up the pace for a moment. Ospreay and Davis with some nice double team on Takeshita, then Cage and Archer launch Ospreay into a Takeshita Blue Thunder Bomb, which is a neat spot.
It’s a big string of “stuff,” the “all-star multi-man” format that you’ve surely seen many times by now. Takeshita pins Davis in the end. A very fun showcase but personally I don’t get a ton out of these things other than “neat!” and since “neat!” is a main point, then that’s fine. It was neat! ***¼
We’re hearing from Jon Moxley: He’s backstage somewhere with Claudio and Marina standing and looking down at Wheeler Yuta, who is sat on a chair staring straight ahead. Moxley is the one talking. He goes over his new belief that Orange Cassidy is a snake and a sociopath, but leaves open the idea that Orange may be the great guy everyone thinks, and either way, he doesn’t really care since the end goal is the same. Claudio addresses Darby Allin in one of his fancy foreign languages. Oh, now he’s speaking English. He plans to end Darby tonight.
Elsewhere: Now Darby’s here with his skateboard. He says all the Death Riders will have their day, but today is Claudio’s.
Hell yeah! The Continental Classic starts at the Dynamite I’ll be at next week!
Outside: Renee Paquette has a nice jacket and she is here for the arrival of the Hurt Syndicate. I gotta be honest, I thought for a while that people kind of were making a bit more of these guys as a stable in WWE than was really there; I liked them, a lot, but thought the cries for them to reunite, and how great they were and so on, was maybe overstated. I think now that I was just wrong. They’ve barely gotten their feet wet reunited in AEW and I think they’re truly great. They’re left more to their own devices here, but even still, they just have a great chemistry together. They are more than the sum of their parts. Anyway, MVP has an announcement, which is that Bobby Lashley will be in action tonight. And then Swerve Strickland flies in from off-screen and cracks Lashley in the side of the head with a chain. Lashley gets rocked and dropped, but you see up front that Swerve knows he’s gonna have to fight this guy dirty and pick his spots. This puts both guys over, Lashley for being such a natural force of nature and physical threat, and Swerve being the sort of guy who will go to any length, which we already knew but re-confirmed here.
It’s talking time with Adam Colebaby: He’s upset about missing out on his shot to face MJF on Saturday, but he’s happy that Roderick Strong will get his, because they have the same goal. Now here comes Kyle O’Reilly. “This is a shocker,” says Tony, which is a pretty huge exaggeration. It’s not shocking, really. Kyle talks about 14 years ago in this city, these two had their second match ever against one another.1 O’Reilly tells Cole that he has to end his obsession with MJF before somebody gets hurt. Kyle is talking more about MJF’s psychological damage but also the physical. He thinks Cole has driven their pal Rod into a bad situation. “You’ve gotta face facts, man, MJF is more of an evil bastard than you will ever be — and that is a good thing.” O’Reilly leaves it at that.
Backstage: Orange Cassidy is here to talk. He’ll make an example of Wheeler Yuta tonight, and show everyone what he’s going to do to Moxley on Saturday. Now other Conglomerators join — Briscoe, Ishii, Rocky. Mark says they’ve got his back, but Orange doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Mark, who is as usual a source of logic and reason, reminds Orange that they’re all wrestlers and they, you know, fight for a living. But Orange is loudly, bluntly insistent — and has a bubbling rage. He makes the boys promise they’ll stay away, and Mark reluctantly but respectfully agrees even though there’s five Death Riders (well, there are three, Marina doesn’t really do anything and PAC is again absent) and just one Orange.
Hikaru Shida vs Kris Statlander
This came together quickly on Collision, and will hopefully — if you’re Statlander — serve as a key warm-up to get Stat sharp for Mercedes Mone on Saturday.
Damn, this is a good, hard-fought match. Physical. Two heavy hitters who can take a shot, too. Kind of a bomb trade for nine minutes with Statlander pulling out the win. Good win, good momentum for Stat. ***½
Post-match: Mercedes Mone and poor Kamille are here. Mercedes takes a shot at the “terrible” Sixers and shouts out the Celtics. This doesn’t get too much reaction because AEW fans in Reading probably don’t cross over too heavily with, you know, people who really follow sports. Mercedes says she will not lose at Full Gear because she is the CEO and the best TBS champ ever. She gets a “shut the fuck up” chant from that. Shida and Statlander encourage this and Mercedes orders poor one-armed Kamille to go after Statlander. I mean, again, Shida’s still there. Kamille is hesitant here. She’s in heels for the love of pete! Poor Kamille has to TRY fighting and just can’t do anything, and gets thrown on her bad arm, too. Stat and Shida didn’t even look like they wanted to do it. Statlander blocks a backstabber attempt which rules, just too strong for small Mercedes to pull back, and Statlander hits Wednesday Night Fever on the TBS champ.
Backstage: MVP and Shelton Benjamin are stalking the halls and find a dude in Swerve’s coat. It’s not Swerve but they hit him anyway because whatever. Gotta hit someone.
Video: Jay White addresses Hangman Page ahead of Full Gear. Juice Robinson is also there. And now Hangman is screaming because he’s constantly in a rage now.
Bobby Lashley vs Cheeseburger & Joe Keys
Cheeseburger is BACK! This is Lashley’s AEW in-ring debut. Neither Keys nor Burger really want to start this, and Burger gets forced to start it. By which I mean he is hurled. Keys tries to help but … no.
Cheeseburger in this spot is terrific and he turns back the clock to when he was generally just being slaughtered in matches. God bless Joe Keys, he’s trying. “What are you doin’, Joe?!” Matt Menard shouts. “Stop it! Save your life!” Menard having a ball watching Lashley just fling this two at the ground with incredible force. There’s Bobby’s terrible spear (the rolling shoulder touch) and Keys gets full nelsoned into submission.
Post-match: Swerve’s music hits. Shelton heads toward the entrance, where Prince Nana is holding a chair. MVP has his cane cocked ringside. Shelton chases Nana, Swerve emerges from under the ring and blindsides Lashley again, plus a shot on MVP, one for the returning Shelton, all with the chain in hand. House Call on Lashley! Flying stomp! This angle has been fun to also realize how much muscle and size Swerve has put on the last few years. He’s definitely smaller than Shelton or Lashley, but not quite so much as he used to be. Swerve dips before they can get any shots in return. He’s got a great look of intensity on him, that deranged man is coming back out in full.
Backstage: Renee is with Mariah May and Mina Shirakawa. Mariah will finally have her celebration on Saturday. Seems like a good time for Toni Storm to return. Mina promises “a celebration (Mariah) will never forget.” Then they shake their tits. Look, again, this doesn’t bother me negatively in how I think of Mina, but I think maybe she is reducing herself to JUST this too much — though it could be a set-up, too. Jury’s out! Plus there are some positive aspects to it.2
Claudio Castagnoli vs Darby Allin
This is actually the first one-on-one match these two have had. They’ve been in the ring a couple times, for a battle royal in July on Rampage — so that didn’t really exist — and that tag match (Darby & Orange vs Claude & PAC) a couple weeks ago.
The style matchup is as you’d expect, Darby trying to stick and move, Claudio wanting to get in close and overpower the wild little fella. Claudio catches Darby trying a coffin drop and just slings him on the floor, then launches him into the barricade and uppercutting him over lmao this rocks ass
After commercial3, Claudio is in control. Well, this is a typical Good Darby Allin match which contains a lot of him getting ridiculously abused and a second guy having a great time destroying him, and Claudio is a top-tier destroyer of dudes. And this is a top-tier dude destroying.
I love this, this is a focused, super violent version of Claudio Castagnoli, but there is also some look on his face where he is sort of impressed by Darby Allin not, like, actually passing on from what he’s doing to him. Darby comes back from being truly flung on the outside and walks into a final Castagnoli lariat and Claudio wins this one, and it ruled. Just an absolute blast. Totally thrashed Darby, and you can do that, because the point of Darby Allin is not just “winning matches.” ***¾
Backstage: Renee is with Private Party. They defend their belts Saturday in a big four-way. oh fuck me it’s the dumbasses from the internet. I should not have to know anything about these people. I understand Tony Khan’s business impulse here, not that it will lead to anything other than more views for the pre-show on YouTube, because stuff like this in any industry does not actually expand your audience, their fans are not going to go “you know! I suddenly want to see five more hours of this, for 50 dollars!” But I truly cannot sanction this crap.
Here’s an MJF skit: Wow lots of personal attacks on someone’s real life history. Look it’s an OK promo in execution, I just don’t care about this guy. He feels like a relic already.
Backstage: Oh good Renee is with the internet idiot and his son without Private Party. I listened to his first line and skipped ahead. I can’t. I HATE this act. As much as I think Jimmy Fallon stinks, when he grew so sick of their shtick that he became openly hostile for a moment, I finally felt a kinship with Fallon.
Tony Time: Tony Schiavone has Roderick Strong, flanked by Bennett and Taven. He’s here to reply to MJF. This is not the sort of material Roddy the TV Character excels with, honestly, but he’s fighting it to a draw. It’s good work. But again, I just don’t care about this as a wrestling angle. MJF has grown legitimately so tired for me. I’m sure the match will be good, Roddy’s awesome and MJF’s actual strength is his in-ring work, but no part of this story needed this material. It adds nothing, and “real life truth” so easily comes off insincere and phony in pro wrestling.
Somewhere: Daniel Garcia is, like, waterboarding Jack Perry. What in the “H” is this? He’s gonna crowbar him to death now! No, he thought better of it. He hits the dumb bus instead. Take that, bus! Jacholas is not impressed or intimidated. Maybe Jack’s right. Dan is not truly ready to be that guy yet.
Backstage: Renee is doing a contract signing with Chris Jericho and Tomohiro Ishii. No offense, lads, but FF. Oh, no, it’s a whole skit where they wind up in the ring. Ishii just wants Jericho to sign and Jericho is resisting. Bryan Keith and Big Bill get out there and Jericho’s going to stab Ishii with the pen, but Mark Briscoe runs in with Rocky Romero. I honestly expect Jericho vs Ishii will be a good match, but the reasons it’s happening are just not in my wheelhouse.
Backstage: Jamie Hayter is with Renee. Jamie is confused as to what Julia Hart’s interest in her might be. And again, Jamie is interrupted by a Julia Hart video, and again the Julia Hart video rules.
Wheeler Yuta vs Orange Cassidy
Your main event! Orange Cassidy’s black trousers are a storytelling device.
This is a good match and kind of a bad match. The good is that it’s well-worked and tells a nice combo story of mentor vs mentee and overlaps into the entire Death Riders arc and all that. The bad is that it’s not the sort of match the average crowd is gonna easily get into, it’s worked at a middling tempo and focuses a lot on working Orange’s neck. The guys are doing good work here, but the crowd is not responding to what they’re doing, and it’s not blatantly telling some big tale of Orange being super ready for Moxley at Full Gear. This isn’t really their fault, just the way it’s going.
Basically what I’m saying is I personally like this a lot but it’s clear the Reading crowd ain’t that into it. Orange won’t go away, Wheeler gets frustrated, misses with a chair shot, and Orange wins with a roll-up. Not the most definitive statement, right, but it also tells you that Orange’s skill level is enough to win the match, and if you win the match and take the AEW title off Moxley, that weakens the Death Rider position significantly. ***¼
Post-match: PAC is here! He attacks Orange from behind. Death Riders duct tape Orange’s arms and beat his ass. Eventually, the Conglomeration do come down, but they kept their word to their friend. Orange is cut loose from the tape, gets to his feet, puts the sunglasses on, and defiantly raises his arms and pops them into his trouser pockets. This does genuinely annoy Moxley, who just can’t break this guy. Orange is not breakable. You know that episode of King of the Hill where Bobby goes to military school and Cotton takes it over and tries to break him, but just can’t, and eventually grows to love how insanely, uniquely tough Bobby is? That’s kinda Orange right now.
GRADE: B
Good matches, mostly good promo work, moving along nicely to Full Gear in my opinion. Psyched for that show on Saturday! Not everything (MJF) is good but even that I assume will be a good match and stuff.
Three Stars of the Show
Claudio Castagnoli: Usually I’d lean toward bigger credit for the guy taking the ass-beating for the ass-beating so good, but that was real deal, big time, major league ass-beating from ol’ Claude, too. This whole Death Riders thing has truly reinvigorated Castagnoli. It’s the same level, but the shift in role has made him a menace again.
Swerve Strickland: Almost a scamp-like nature to what he’s doing, but also with the intensity in his eyes that reminds you that this is a nasty dude even Lashley can’t just overlook. Hurt Syndicate might take him down for a bit, but he’s not going without a real fight, and we know the man can fight.
Kamille: Poor Kamille. I just wanted to say something nice about Kamille, and her body language out there being ordered to get her ass kicked with no shot at winning the fight was really good, for real. Honorable mentions: Orange, Julia Hart, Stat, Takeshita, Darby.
Chikara’s Young Lions Cup VIII at Goodwill Fire Association Hall. It’s the only match O’Reilly’s ever had in Reading, and Cole’s only had three, all Chikara matches, two on the same show.
Not that I’m, like, actually Turned On by Mina’s tit shake move. If that actually turns you on you are either literally or mentally 13 or maybe should consider adding some hobbies or a job to your life. It’s not actually sexy.
Congratulations to this TBS commercial on making me sick of Elf a month out. I love Christmas, and I do like Elf, but I’m the sort of person whose personality violently rejects “24 hours of” basically anything and hard sells of that sort. Now A Christmas Story I actively hate as a movie.
+5 for the Orange Cassidy KOTH analogy. That go-home angle actually convinced me to go to the show (it's a free ticket so maybe not the biggest achievement, but there is a lot of personal inertia arguing in the other direction)
I’m kind of pissed that the one good thing that was coming out of The Learning Tree (Big Bill and Bryan Keith getting some fun mic time) has fallen by the wayside. However I will admit I genuinely laughed a couple of times during the Jericho/Ishii low speed chase.