Review: AEW Collision (8-17-2024)
Collision was LIVE from Arlington as AEW closes its summer residency at the House of Hologram!
Hey look at this, I won’t have to rush this together on Sunday! Well technically it is Sunday but it’s very early Sunday/very late Saturday.
LET’S COLLIDE! I will genuinely miss this venue and hope they get back there soon.
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Harley Cameron vs Dr. Britt Baker, DMD
Did you know Harley Cameron is a ventriloquist? I did not until now. Many of you likely did. Tony says he did after Nigel brings it up. But Tony fibs sometimes. Anyway I hope she uses the ventriloquism somehow at some point.
Harley is, of course, very animated. Britt’s in here moving and bumping with all the purpose of me heading to the grocer to buy cat litter. Tony thinks this is a great match. I don’t agree. Britt gloves up at one point but never actually uses the Lockjaw, eventually beating Harley with a stomp. Great political-type move by Britt here to finish this off just under the five-minute mark meaning her match can’t get a Cagematch rating.
Post-Match: Mercedes Mone and Kamille “The” Brickhouse arrive on the scene. Mercedes sends Kamille down, so Baker gets a kendo stick from under the ring. She swings it, and Kamille blocks and calmly shoves Britt on her ass, then snaps the stick over her own knee. Baker charges at Kamille who foots her in the face. This is getting drawn out with Kamille carrying a KO’d Britt into the ring to, eventually, carry her around in another position for a while into that sit-out dominator that Tony thinks is a flatliner. I have no idea the specifics of how you manage to take two people the crowd likes seeing this much and turn in this limp of a feud, but by God they are doing it because this all gets way less reaction than you’d hope or think.
Update: Next July, AEW will be at Globe Life Field for All In: Texas. I might go to that. (I won’t.)
ROH World Tag Team Championship
Mike Bennett & Matt Taven (c) vs Sammy Guevara & Dustin Rhodes
Bennett and Taven have held these belts 234 days, according to Tony. Who would really follow enough to know if he’s right? I love the team, mind, and love that ROH is at least something other than a piece of the WWE video library, but I just don’t watch anything but the ROH PPVs. Which is dumb of me, frankly, because I’m sure there are routinely good matches on it and all, but we have to draw lines somewhere in life.
Bennett giving Gampy Dustin the business in there, outfoxing the vet. But the big guy gets the upper hand before tagging Guevara in. Sammy getting to show out a good bit in this match, and plenty of people in Texas like him. They’re chanting loud, “Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,” rallying him for a hot tag to Dustin, which he makes to a nice pop. Dustin on fire with the tag and even hits his terrible Destroyer, then splays out Taven’s nuts to do his Goldust offense. Taven’s nuts actually get hit twice there, once by Bennett then Dustin. CrossRhodes gets two but Bennett saves. But Mike gets CrossRhodes’d, too.
HERE COMES THE BEAST MORTOS! Roderick Strong is in the ring with Mortos distracting. Sick Kick on Dustin, and — no, he kicks out! Strong flubs a chair pass. The Von Erichs are here! They claw Mortos and Strong. Here comes “Cage of Agony” to attack the Von Erichs! Here comes THE CONGLOMERATION TO ATTACK THEM! HELL YEAH LET’S GO FUCK IT
The interlopers all fight out of here and we’re left with the match. Bennett gets left standing around like a goof waiting for Guevara to hit his spot on Taven, then they double on Bennett and Dustin and Guevara are the new ROH tag champions, meaning 702-year-old Dustin Rhodes holds DOUBLE GOLD in ROH. The match was hot, well-worked, and came with bonus chaos that didn’t affect the outcome. ***½
Video: Swerve vs Danielson hype and roster predictions set to Bush’s “Machinehead.” It’s very good, and ends on Nigel McGuinness hating.
Backstage: Chris Jericho, by himself, is with Renee Paquette. Jericho totally ignores everything Renee says, or seems to, but then he reveals he was. He’s just bein’ weird! Renee’s hair looks nice. Jericho addresses Hook and Tommy Billington, two men he’ll face soon. They end discussing Chris’ yellow jacket.
Angelico vs Hologram
Serpentico out with Angelico. Tony struggles with “Utilita” because he doesn’t watch enough British sport. They start tentative but the first dive is a wicked tope suicida from Hologram, just pure velocity. Angelico still a real pro, taking the hell out of everything Hologram does. He gets in just enough offense to keep it halfway interesting as a contest, basically, even though nobody in the building has even half the thought he’ll actually win this thing.
Some roll-up/cradle trading and reversals. Bunch of near falls from that, then Hologram wins with one of them, just got the right one on. Hologram really getting to show more on the mat with this match and his streak stays alive. Mr. Collision made his mark in Arlington, we’ll see how he does on the road. ***¼
Video: Let us examine the Tiger Driver ‘91 and Will Ospreay’s torment over using it or having ever used it, basically the continued tease that he will do it to MJF at Wembley.
Jack Perry vs Danny Orion
Orion trying to fire the crowd up while Perry stands in the corner in his leather jacket being aloof. But rallying the crowd doesn’t matter for much, as Jungle Jackary pretty much squarshes him out, giving just enough time for Tony to tell a little story about Jack Perry and his match at Wembley with Darby Allin.
Post-Match: Perry pulls a canvas bodybag that says DARBY from under the ring then spray paints Orion’s face to be kinda like Allin. He also puts his TNT belt in the bodybag with the jobber, zips it up, and produces new look TNT title which just, I don’t know, this guy belongs in Billy Corgan’s NWA more than anyone I have ever seen. He should be their cornerstone.
Promo: After a trios title “doings and transpirings” recap, House of Black discuss the trios championship. Bang Bang Gang do it, too. Christopher Daniels has watched this video, and now he tells us that at the Cardiff Collision there will be a “wild card match” that produces a fourth trios squad to wrestle in a “London Ladders match” four-way at All In against the Patriarchy, HoB, and BBG.
Lio Rush vs Claudio Castagnoli
Now this is a Collision ass meaningful-ish mid-show matchup. Personally have my doubts that Lio Rush is going to beat Claudio days before Claudio faces Okada in Cardiff. He’s got the squad of pilots behind him. No Leila Grey, though. I guess she doesn’t hang out if it’s Lio. Oh they don’t actually come to the ring with Lio and his big coat.
Tony discusses Okada vs Claudio and offers that it “is a matchup of guys who basically are the same size.” That’s very true, Tony. Nigel struggles through making a point about BCC’s lack of title success and Tony has to pull him out of the mud there. Claudio just overpowering Lio out here, but Lio always has some tricks and quickness to bust out, and he figures his way into competing as always. But Claudio gets him with a pop-up uppercut for the win. A neat little combination of classic TV pace early and the go-go pace of modern TV. ***¼
Backstage: Kris Statlander and Stokely Hathaway talk. They talk about the Ishii/Willow team. Stat makes Stoke even more nervous than he already was. Whichever team wins at All In, they get to pick the stipulation for Willow vs Stat at All Out. Stokely tries to hype himself up but he can’t even fake it.
From His House: Eddie Kingston! He’s been watching TV lately and wants to talk to Bryan Danielson. “What Bryan Danielson is this that I’m seein’?” He doesn’t see the real Bryan Danielson these days. He’s “disrespectful to our sport” and “is going to get beat at All In.” Kingston sees Danielson having no fire anymore and wonders what the point is.
Mariah May vs Londyn Dior
Mariah has Targaryen hair at this point. Londyn Dior is falling down (because she was kicked very hard). Well, hip attack, Storm Zero, Tony can’t even talk about how inexperienced Londyn is.
Post-Match: Lights out, and now it’s a Toni Storm movie. She does the Pagliacci bit with a twist. She promises to be “the grandest Toni Storm of them all” at Wembley. “The River Thames will run red with your blood!” Hell yeah. After that ends, Mariah batters Londyn Dior’s skull with the shoe in anger. Well Londyn Dior did not have that coming.
It’s Time to Rap: Thanks for your good rap, Max Caster! Take that, FTR, you’re girls! Billy Gunn does a Tombstone line. Bowens goes grrr.
The Acclaimed vs FTR
Here is your main event, winner goes to Wembley to face the Bucks. There’s too much time left. They’re gonna go half-Broadway to set up another GD three-way.
Yeah, it’s a deliberate pace early. I mean that outcome, assuming it happens, was not hard to predict coming in since this whole tag title situation is currently a mess with these two teams at least trying to make the most of it.
This is a good, well-worked tag team wrestling match. FTR can basically pull this out of anyone if you give them the time and the chance, and the Acclaimed are really more fun to me right now doing this sort of match than something quicker paced, feels like a change of pace. Turns into a war of attrition, basically, Caster in particular looking physically spent but like he’s battling his heart out to fight that off because this means so much to him. Dax and Bowens trade some nice right hands until they’re both basically out, tags to Caster and Cash to pick it up a bit again.
And on it goes. Battling, battling, looking for the big move or the big opening to finish it suddenly. And again, the Arlington crowd is adding to the match. Tony and Nigel calling it well. This is just good ass wrestling TV, this is my speed of wrestling TV for today’s style. Shatter Machine from the Acclaimed on Dax, but he barely kicks out, having to raise a shoulder with Cash diving in. Mic Drop! Caster tries to hold Cash off from another charge to break a pin, but Cash just bulls him over.
Everyone’s down, everyone’s exhausted. To the knees! Stare and fight! FTR hit a ragged Shatter Machine on Bowens who also has to raise a shoulder with his partner JUST off on saving it. They keep fighting, and the bell rings not at some dramatic moment, it just is the match ending when the time limit is up. Fantastic match, capping one hell of a week for tag team wrestling on the TV when you think back on Creeds vs Otis/Tozawa, Frazer/Axiom vs Chase/Holland, DIY vs Profits, and Bennett/Taven vs Dustin/Guevara from earlier in this show, too. I mean that’s some good stuff. There was also a Young Bucks match on Wednesday if you want to just name everything with no regard for quality. ****
Post-Match: Yes, it is officially a draw. Billy Gunn in there towering over people, preventing more fighting. But Cash cannot be convinced to not fight so he attacks Billy, who kinda half-heartedly fights back. Tony Khan informs Tony Schiavone that, yes, both teams go to Wembley. Kind of a weak way to announce that, honestly. Everyone fights until the show is off the air.
GRADE: B+
Two great tag matches in the Collision style, that makes for a good Collision alone, but also Hologram got to rip again and Lio vs Claudio was pretty good, too. Minimal bullshit, mostly wrestling.
Three Stars of the Show
Hologram: As we depart the House of Hologram for the time being, I feel it is only fitting to award the top spot to the man who led a pretty terrific run at this venue, really went about as well as you could hope from a TV perspective. It’s a building with good vibe and fans who really wanted to help make it a special place, but not in a totally fake way, either, none of it felt forced. Hologram will probably mostly be a “special attraction” sort of wrestler — consistently on TV but kind of outside the normal rankings ladder — but he’s a good one at least. I don’t know, maybe the company can create its seventh workhorse title for him.
Mike Bennett & Matt Taven: This team may never get the respect they deserve, but honestly I hope they’re going to get to graduate to the proper AEW tag division.
Eddie Kingston: Sits on a couch with a busted leg and shows the world how it’s done. Simple, to the point, effective, some real emotion but also some shit-stirring for the sake of it. The Eddie Kingston way.