Coliseum Comfort: Best of the WWF Vol. 6
This one’s got Gorilla Monsoon in the studio hosting, and he’s speaking in a weird, laid back tone that was probably more how he talked day-to-day, just kicking it, but it throws me off.
“What we have here is not merely a collection of matches from the many arenas of professional wrestling, but what we truly have, in fact, here, are the highlights of the World Wrestling Federation, which is, without a doubt, the premier source for sports-entertainment in the world today,” Gorilla tells me, speaking straight from his heart and not reading shitty lines Little Vinny wrote him.
Gorilla says it would be “physically impossible” to watch and record all the televised matches. That’s untrue. Someone did it.
Let’s get to the action!
Terry Funk vs Lanny Poffo
July 13, 1985
Madison Square Garden - New York, NY
“Terrible” Terry and “Leaping” Lanny. Funk is acknowledged as having a brother, Poffo was not. He is a “fast-rising newcomer” whose “acrobatic movement shows incredible agility.”
Funk had been back in the WWF for about a month, a few days less than that, to be really accurate. In theory, an interesting style matchup, but let’s see if either of them feel like doing fuck all. Funk makes a big show pre-match of his pre-match disrobing; well, not big show, but he takes his time. Poffo was also new to the WWF, having come in on June 17, the same TV taping in Poughkeepsie where Funk returned.
Lord Alfred Hayes says Funk tells him that he’s never lost a barroom brawl, and Gorilla just goes, “Wow. That is impressive,” a bit sarcastically but also admitting Funk is a “tough cookie.”
Lanny wasn’t a bad wrestler at all. The guy could work a little bit and Funk is the sort of wrestler with absolutely no concern about making sure he’s taken seriously at every second, so he’s willing to let Poffo show off some of his acrobatics and make Funk look slightly silly — also, he gets to chop the piss out of Poffo moments later, because he is Terry Funk.